I was born in Bogota, Colombia, and adopted at 4 months by my mom and dad. Being adopted gave me a reason to do drugs. All I needed was a reason. My parents were always there for me, always trying to help me and my sister. I basically made my family dysfunctional.
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When I was 11, my cousins and I drank sangria from my uncle's fridge. I first heard about pot through a drug education program in school. It opened a giant suitcase with forbidden things in it, which only made drugs more interesting. The first time I smoked weed, I didn't feel anything. I tried it again. I couldn't stop laughing. I could not control myself. I loved it.
I've had lots of energy since I could remember. It wasn't until later that I found out I had ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). I couldn't sit still in class, I was always shaking my leg, tapping a pencil. Teachers would say to sit still, like 3 or 4 times a day. |
After a while I tuned people out: This is who I am, leave me alone. I would read the same line 7 lines and wouldn't realize it. When I'm talking, I jump from topic to topic, or I'll forget what I'm talking about.
I started hustling for my pot dealer at school for free weed, free coke. Using cocaine, I was bouncing off the walls. I loved being hyper. I tried heroin. I couldn't stand it. It slows you down. I liked the crowds, the attention. I loved that rebellious feeling. If you told me I couldn't do something, I'd do it anyway. Some people bungee jump for a rush. I sold drugs for a rush. I loved being the sneakiest one out there, making the most money.
One morning I woke up so sick, my fingers turned blue, my lips turned blue. I went to the hospital. They asked me if I did drugs, I said no. I had used a lot of coke the night before. I said I ate some bad veggies. They believed me. I was 15.
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The day after I turned 16, I decided to be bold and smoked a blunt in my room. My dad confronted me. The next day I went to school. Next thing I knew, cops came and arrested me. My parents had searched my room and found my stash. They called the police and asked them to come and get me. I came up positive for cocaine, marijuana, alcohol, and ecstasy.
The narcotics agent recommended a teen treatment center. I went in and thought, "Oh God, what the heck am I doing here? They were putting up Christmas decorations and I realized I wouldn't be home for Christmas. |
The people there were friendly. I wasn't expecting it. I thought it would be a jail. I was really shy. Slowly I was able to talk.
My biggest mistake when I reached the outpatient stage was going back to the same high school, that same crowd. People coming up to me, Do you have anything? I told myself, I won't use, I'll just sell. I did coke again and got arrested. I went back to the treatment center as an inpatient and completed their program.
I married Alexander on November 19, 2004. He's in Iraq now. He was my best friend in high school. He never used drugs, never smoked. He was the only one that was my friend, before, during, and after treatment. He supports everything that I do here. It's the same way with my parents. I'm embarrassed. I know how much grief and pain I put them through. I wish that I could take it back, but I can't. |
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Thinking of using? It all comes down to this: It's your decision. My dad said: If you choose the path you're on, you're going to end up where you're headed. It's one of the greatest quotes I've ever heard.
